return my video game
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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