Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
