You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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