I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
