I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
