i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
