he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize