sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
