he wants to bone in the snuggie
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
