where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
