i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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