That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
