Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
