Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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