Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
