I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
