dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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