Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it hurts more in the daytime
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
