; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
