i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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