Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
