Don't you send me to vm
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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