Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it's not cheating when I paid for it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
