Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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