Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
