definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
