Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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