Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize