So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
