i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I skipped work to stalk him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
