I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
