At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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