took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm passing your future prison.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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