i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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