So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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