so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
