got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
