If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
