Apparently you make a good broom.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
