You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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