They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
