Screwed.edu
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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