Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
