if you like me you must not know who I am
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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