It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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