Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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