Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
