I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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