I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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