Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize