Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
