Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize