Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
