so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize