then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
