no you cant smoke seaweed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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