I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
