she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
