It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
