5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
