He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
