Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
