life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
