I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want nice things and good sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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