Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
